I literally can't believe I am sat writing this on the first day of March. January and February have absolutely flown by, but it's safe to say 2015 is shaping up to be one of the best years of my life. I have never really been a big believer of the whole "new year, new me" mantra, but bizarrely that is exactly how I would describe the transformation that my mind has undergone over the past two months and the path my outlook has journeyed on in such a short space of time is greater than I ever imagined.
I've decided to compile a little list of the changes that I have noticed in myself and hope to maintain over the next ten months.
1. Positivity - I always wanted to recover, to be happy, healthy, positive, but after having spent so long living such a unhealthy lifestyle fuelled by relationships and friendships with detrimental influences it became hard to imagine living a life any other way. But positivity cannot come from any external force, it has to come from within yourself. To change your mind you have to want to change your mind, and work bloody hard at it every single day until finally you are back in control of yourself. We view the world the way we choose to, and I choose positivity.
2. Failure - A word I have been irrationally frightened of for longer than I care to admit. However, I have learnt that failure is not defined by an inability to complete something, failure is an inability to try something, to push yourself harder and further than you ever imagined. Staying in your comfort zone means you will never succeed in something new unless you open yourself up to the prospect of failing at it first. What defines us isn't our falls, it's how well we rise afterwards.
3. Determination - I am too determined to be defeated. Although determination is always a trait I have possessed, it is something that has been heightened to a whole new level over the past two months. It's so easy to confuse determination with obsession and obsession is drilled into us as a negative trait to chase. What I have learnt is that obsession is the word that lazy, negative and jealous people use to describe dedication. I am not obsessed with my health or my body or working out, I am dedicated to living a pure and healthy life.
4. Friendships - My friends mean the world to me. It's hard leaving school, leaving normality, uprooting yourself and beginning your life again in a whole new city. It was even harder for me because I did it three times. I left school, moved to London, moved to Manchester School of Art and then moved again to the University of Manchester. For a long time I felt very lost, feeling so unsettled made me wary to open up or become close to anyone for the fear that I would invest so much in them and then have them no longer be a part of my life any more. One friend in particular has been there for me through thick and thin, I love her like a sister and although we have both had our fair share of ups and downs I wouldn't change any of it for the world because being on this journey together has only made our friendship stronger.
Here's to an amazing year of 21st celebrations, health, lifelong friendships and happy memories,